A Letter to the Man I share my life with.

Hello Love!

Maybe by the time you will read this, you might have so many questions in your mind. Why it has to be you? Why’d it have to be us?

I am not a perfect human being; honestly, I did not even see myself as a good one. I tried so hard to be the perfect pair for you but I guess I will never be. So I settled to be at least the good one.

I fear every day of my life that I might not fit to be that perfect partner you are expecting me to but you cannot do anything now. I am here and stuck to be with you for the rest of our lives.

When you came into my life, it wasn’t accident, I planned it. I am desperate to have you. I prayed to God to give me you, he did! You came!

I planned our life according to my plans, according to what I wanted. I know it was tough to both of us, though it was wrong at the beginning but choosing you was not a MISTAKE!

Do you remember during our bad days, we used to buy sweets which are not allowed for us? We laughed together and one bad day became the best!

Do you also remember if we want to escape the world, we play music, plugged earphone, get lost? We sing and dance together, the escape became our world!

Remember the day Lola died? I never stopped crying but you comfort me and told me everything will be okay. That day I lost Lola, I gained you.

We have a very rough start. I hated you even I prayed for you and yet you forgive me. That moment, I know to myself that WE ARE MEANT TO BE.

You never let me fight the battle alone.

You never give up on me.

You never let me feel that I am alone.

You made me laugh until my tummy aches.

You made me realize that my life has a meaning.

You made me love myself so I can love you.

You make me BETTER.

Love, as of the moment I am still struggling to be the best MOTHER, forgive me.

I know I can never give you a complete family but I can give you unconditional love. A love knows no boundaries.

I know that I will disappoint you a lot of times but do know that my love for you is never a disappointment.

You are the love of my life, the one I prayed for. You are made perfectly with love.

We may be in a long distance relationship right now but please do know that I have a high hopes that it will be over soon! Keep up with me.

Do not forget that everything I do is for you alone.

Do not forget that I will move every mountain to give everything you need.

Always remember that you are worthy of everything I do.

I never regret any single day of my life having you.

Even if I am given a chance to change everything in my past, I will say pass! Because having you is not a regret, YOU ARE BLESSING!

You made me who I am today.

You made me so proud.

You made my life worthy.

Sebastian my Love, Mama will always be here for you.

Mama may not be the person you expected me to be but know that Mama loves you so much.

Every day of my life not near you pains me.

Every day of my life that I wasn’t able to witness your milestone breaks my heart.

Every day of my life that I wasn’t there with you I am lost.

But please don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t want to be with you.

You know how much I wanted to be with you.

It is just that aside from being your Strong Bad Ass Mama,

I need to be a responsible Father to you so I can provide everything you need.

I also need to be a daughter to support your Lola and Lolo.

I also need to be a sister to help your uncles.

I also need to be human and satisfy the needs of the earth.

I also need to be a Christian and serve him.

I also need to be me.

One day, when the time is right and you are all grown up to be a fine young handsome man, you will understand that loving yourself is not bad and putting others need is not a crime.

One day, when you finally encounter adulting issues you will realize that letting go of toxic and negativity is better than sticking up with them and drain your energy.

One day, when you feel that you hated Mama, remember that I can never hate you, that you always have me. ALWAYS!

One day, when you need to choose to work far from me, don’t think twice. Grab the opportunity. Never give excuse of not taking it, because I believe in you! I trust that you can do it. Show the world how awesome you are! Remember to be kind to people you meet. Always give them a benefit of the doubt. Be the kind of man who stands up with jerk. DON’T BE A JERK. Tama na ‘yong isa satin dalawa, at ako yon! 🙂

One day, you will fall in love; I want you to handle it with care. When you are young you want to explore love but be reminded that love is not material thing that can be bought in a grocery store. Love must be given rightfully. It is an emotional feeling easy to be felt, hard to forget. Love responsibly.

Do not love if you are not ready to love.

Do not commit if you are not ready to commit. Mas okay na ikaw ang masaktan kesa ikaw ang manakit.

Be a Gentleman. Respect them. I know respect is earned not gained but it is not an excuse to disrespect them. Tell them honestly what you feel.

Let God be the center of your relationship, lead her closer to him.

Don’t break a girl’s heart. You are better than that pero kung talagang heartbreaker ka anak eh, I can’t do anything about it. Tandaan mo lang, rule #3, 😀 Kidding aside, Ikaw lang ang makakaalam when is the time you will be matured to take relationship seriously. Sinasabi ko sayo, makakahanap ka ng katapat mo! Hahaha.

And One day when your heart gets broken, sabi ko naman kasi sayo di ba makakahanap ka ng katapat mo. 🙂 I want you to feel it. Feel the feelings but have faith. Huwag mo sanang kimkimin ang sakit. If you can’t tell it to Mama, look for someone who can listen to your grieving heart. Learn from the pain and use it to be a better man. Be a better version of yourself.

If you are the one who cause the pain, accept it. Panindigan mo. Apologized. Admit your mistake. Man up and get your balls intact!

If they hurt you, accept it and learn from it. Move on and let go. Mahirap anak but alam kong kaya mo. Ano pa at naging mag-nanay tayo! Laban! Strong tayo!

Remember that it is okay to cry. Hindi kabawasan sa lalaki ang umiiyak, tao ka, may pakiramdam.

It is okay not to be okay.

You can cry, lock yourself, travel, escape, magalit ka sa mundo but take God with you.

Do not ever lose the sight of God’s love.

Kneel and Pray.

Ask his guidance, his wisdom, his understanding. Take his love with you.

AND MAMA IS HERE TO LISTEN, HUG AND GRAB A BEER WITH YOU!

I love you more than you’ll ever know.

I love you to infinity and beyond.

I love you since the day you came and until we are old and gray.

With you I am safe.

With you I am blessed.

Remember for what it is worth, you have a purpose and you are loved.

Always and Forever,

Mama

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