At my Deepest.

It was my first time to try snorkeling. I was so sure I can do it, mayabang ako eh. 😂 I know I can because my confidence told me so.

They asked, “you know how to swim?”

So I said thinking twice “yes, but not professionally!”

They laughed at me and said “all of us aren’t professional swimmers!” (With latin accent on it!)

Before heading to the snorkeling area, instructions/training were given to us, breathe in and out, okay I got this! Ako pa ba?

BFFs for a day.

Actual scene, I was so confident that I can do this, I am self confessed mermaid in my past life and I love the sea, ocean, beach or whatever you want to call it. I love it.

So I went down the speed boat with full confidence. My feet didn’t touch any sand, or any land on it, then I asked my instructor, “How deep are we in?” he said, “about 20ft or so!”

My First Attempt I almost drowned.

Sorry, but I have to say P*T*NG *** I cannot do this!!!! We were thousand feet deep and in the middle of indian ocean!!! And I am shouting in my mind “akala ko ba snorkeling eh pang diving na to ah??? It is my first time, i can only swim at 6ft below but this????? Shit! No! And i was thinking 20 usd ba ang papatay sakin?” But the instructor told me not to worry, just apply the training, I just said “Don’t worry? No, Don’t let go!!!”

I am holding on to my instructor for 30 long minutes! I swear I held him so tight! Okay, di sya gwapo, promise! Wala rin sya nun biceps na gusto ko, kailangan ko talaga syang hawakan dahil pucha gusto ko pang mabuhay!!! Nakakatawa ako di ba? Pero i swear Takot na takot ako! Nawala sa pagkatao ko na marunong akong lumangoy! Nawala un confidence ko nun bumaba ako sa speed boat, literal na nilamon ng dagat!

But there’s lesson I gained in my experience:

  • What you don’t know won’t kill you, what you know will!
  • It is okay to admit if we don’t know anything. Fill our cup of knowledge by learning from people who has experience or better experience than we do.
  • It is okay to be afraid, to be scared. It will motivate you to do it again and again until you are no longer afraid and I quote “It’s okay to be scared because you are about to do something brave.”
  • If he said “It’s okay, don’t worry.” Don’t worry. Let go and enjoy the moment. Stop thinking of what could go wrong and think of something could go right!
  • I am a self-confessed worrier and damn, it worried me too much when I don’t see my instructor beside me!! I panicked!! But that’s it, I worry too much and panic attacks will come in. See, if we focus on our problem or fear we lost control. We invite negative energy that drains us. It will not help us achieve our goals, it will just dragged us down.
  • I held his hand for 30 minutes because I’m in the middle of the ocean, thousand feet deep and my first time! Eh sa palengke may mga isda rin naman! Bakit ba ginusto ko dito! Kidding aside, when I let go of his hand…it just give me the best experience of my life. I saw the underworld! I appreciate more the beautiful creatures under the sea!! IT WAS AMAZING! SURREAL!!! Inimagine ko na baka biglang dumating si aquaman at gawin akong reyna ng karagatan.
  • Motivate yourself to let go, even if its hard. Even if its unsure, let go. We need to let go.
  • Push thy self to do it. Kahit sobrang bagal ng pag-let go ika nga slowly but surely. Basta subukan at ulit-ulitin mong gawin hanggang sa kaya mo na mag-isa.
  • Don’t be someone’s liability! Be independent. Trying to fix others while you are not ready to let go of your fear, your worry, your pain won’t help others, pareho lang kayong malulunod!
  • If you made a choice, panindigan mo! Don’t hold back.
  • Be calm and TRUST yourself that you can do it.
  • When panic attack kicks in, breathe in breathe out. Pray. Focus.
  • Let your FAITH be greater than your fear.
  • If I didn’t let go, I will not know how big my world is.
  • If I didn’t let go, I will never know what I can do.
  • If I didn’t let go, My dreams will just be a dream.
  • If I didn’t let go, I will be stuck and be someone’s liability.
  • If I didn’t let go, I will be wondering what it could’ve been.
  • If I didn’t let go, I will never trust myself and my capabilities.
  • I followed and obeyed then I gained one of the best experiences in my life so far.

Letting Go of my instructor’s hand, trusting, following his instructions and him allowing me to do it on my own is the best learning I gained.

When I finally decided to let go.

God taught me already how to be brave, how to face my problems, how to conquer my struggle but when the rock bottom hits me, I PANICKED, I WORRY, I complaint and I-CANNOT-DO-THIS attitude came in first.

But He trusted me that I can because He made me.

He trusted me because He taught me how. He trusted me because I am his image and likeness.

And when I finally let go and do it on my own, apply the learning techniques, relax and breathe, I didn’t stop going deeper and explore for more.

Finally, on my own!

I stayed in the middle of the ocean thousand feet deep, no instructors hand for 1 hr and 30mins!!!!!!! My instructor showing me the beautiful creatures under the sea and I follow him. Beauty of the world are seen when you go out of your comfort zone.

Looking for more of nemo and dory!

Proverbs 12:25 “Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.”

Don’t be afraid to try something new. I believe we have alot of things we can do, all we have to do is try and trust God. Doing it on our own will only bring us anxieties.

Trust God process and you will see the beauty of his plan. Let him teach you, he will mold you and he will allow you to experience all the beauty he made in this world. Open the door of your heart and let him in.

He will not leave you thru thick and thin, good and bad times.

He is there with you, you may not see him and you are like drowning to all of your problems in this world, he will lift you.

And here’s a message from God, I realized after my 1st snorkeling experience….

“Obey me, follow my plans for you and you will see the world right before your eyes. I will guide you, I have plans for you. Trust me. Have faith in me. You are not alone because we are together on this journey. See, my daugther, how wonderful my plans are for you? See how amazing it is? I made you strong. I made you brave. I made you to be the woman of today because you deserve the best, NEVER FORGET THAT!”

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