Raising Standards, is it too much?

We have objectives when we are assigned in a project. We have target sales. We always set a standard in everything we do. The standard of our living depends on the income we have sometimes we go beyond and end up broke. Is it too much if we also ask standards when it comes to finding our life time partners?

No!It is not bad if you set the bar higher than before.

In relationship, we need also to have standards if you wanted to let go or stay. If some sort of misunderstanding came, don’t just give up, I believe it can still be fixed just sit down, talk, open communication is the key to have a better understanding of what went wrong!

If the pain is causing you to not know your worth, loss of self-respect, physical and emotional abuse, the situation is in life and death – LET GO! You cannot love if your love tank is empty. Magkakasakitan lang kayo araw-araw. Evaluate the situation. Does it happen every day? Does it drain you? Nawawalan ka na ba ng respeto? Nasasaktan ka na ba? Did you talk? Did you try to settle it before coming up on a decision? Don’t make decisions when your emotions are too high. Don’t regret it!

Have you said sorry? Yes? Do you mean it? Saying sorry is not a license for you to keep doing what you are doing. Saying sorry needs to be felt, sincerely and not do it again. EVER AGAIN! If you can still save the relationship or marriage, save it!

Hebrews 10:24 “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds”

Before you asked her to marry you, make sure you are worthy to be called Husband. A Father. A Partner. Kaya mo syang panindigan hanggang sa huli. Sacrament of Matrimony is something sacred (at least for me). Don’t make it as if it’s nothing. You are facing God and promise of a life together so make sure, you can be the man that God wants you to be. Marami ng pinaasa at nasasaktan, tama na ‘yon. You can do better. You can change. Don’t rush just because everyone around you settled. Marriage is not a race. It is life time of commitment and responsibility.

Expect that her body will change.

Expect her mood swings almost every day.

Expect everything will change the moment she conceived your child.

Expect that priorities will change.

Expect that her time will be shared.

But don’t let her feel that she’s not enough.

Don’t let her feel that she’s useless.

Don’t let her feel that she’s just a housewife.

Don’t let her feel that she can no longer dream on her own.

Don’t let her feel that having “me time” make her less of a mother/wife.

Don’t let her feel that marriage is a wrong decision she made.

Be the man that she prayed for.

Be the man that she long for.

Be the man she wants to go home to.

Be the man that supports her dreams and goals.

Be the man that God wants you to be.

Set standards of finding the man for you, Set the bar higher! it is not too much, that is what you deserve. Don’t settle for anything less. Hindi ka naman inalagaan ng magulang mo para lang mag-settle sa taong hindi ka kayang alagaan at mahalin. Hindi ka naman minahal ng magulang mo para lang magmakaawa sa pagmamahal na hindi nya kayang ibigay.

Kung naranasan man natin ‘to, don’t worry! God gave you another shot in life to make it better. Don’t make it hard for you. Kahit ano pa ang nakaraan mo, you have the right to set your standards higher. Kaya nga hindi nag-work out eh kasi you choose to settle for less. Nakalimutan natin ang standards natin. Nakalimutan natin kung ano ang para sa atin. And it’s about time to make it right. Never too late, my Dear!

Giving him your “Yes” also must be 100% sure. If you meant no, say no! Boys are humans too, nasasaktan. May pakiramdam. May feelings rin sila.

Yes, I hear you! Boys/Males/Gentlemen are made to be stronger than women; they need to provide for their family, I GOT YOU! But in this modern world, where everything changes, equality is what we needed. Respect with each other’s differences matters! It is no longer a male or female species it is about human raise so bago mo ibigay ang matamis mong OO make sure that you will love him in his worst/bad times. Hindi ‘yon nahirapan ka lang ng konti, iiwan mo na. What I meant to provide is not just material things, but all the aspect of life: mentally, emotionally, ilahat mo na nga ang may –ly sa dulo. 😀

If he can no longer provide for you because he lost his job, help him get through.

If he can no longer be the man that he once was, help him get through.

If he is tired, help him.

Don’t make him feel less of a man.

Don’t make him feel useless.

Don’t make him feel unworthy.

Remember he is a human too.

He also needs affection.

He also needs to hear from you that he matter to you.

He also needs to feel that you need him.

And no matter what life gets you, you will support him.

Be the woman that he set standards with. The woman she dreams and prayed for.

It is a two way relationship; you are a team, together. Individual human beings joined by God to become one. Marriage or no, as long as you enter in a relationship, take good care of each other.

Masaydo ng maraming ganap ang mundo, spare the heart of the one that mattered to you. If you are not sure or you are not ready to commit, stay single. Stay in love with yourself. Make yourself better every day because someone is praying for you.

Sabi nga di ba, Don’t give love a bad name!

Being in a relationship needs commitment and if you are not willing to give it, DON’T!

So sa mga single, relax. God has prepared someone for you. Someone na pasok sa standards mo! Sa objective mo sa buhay! ‘yong malinaw at klaro kung ano meron sa inyong dalawa. Don’t lower your standards just because you are in a hurry. Don’t lower your standards kasi pinakikilig ka nya. Ang kilig mawawala along the way lalo na if both of you are not consistent to make the relationship work. You can still rearrange the standards you are looking for. You can still list down your negotiable and non-negotiable qualities. It’s never too late.

As Genesis 2:18 says “The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

So relax, wait for God’s timing. He will surely give you someone beyond your standards because God’s want the best for you. Trust his process and his timings. Don’t forget to Keep Going.

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