How to Unlove?

We always have random questions in our mind. We even call our friends in the middle of the night or send them message just to ask something from them.

It happened to me quite some time, the question I recently asked was “How to unlove?”

Ano nga ba ang salitang unlove?

Sabi ni kumpareng encyclopedia it is a verb (transitive) archaic, literary, humorous. to stop loving (someone or something)

Paano nga ba natin ititigil na mahalin siya?

Madalas kasing itanong, Paano ba magmahal? There’s even a filipino song, PAANO BA MAGMAHAL? by Sarah G and Piolo Pascual, and the lyrics goes:

Paano ba magmahal?

Palagi na lang bang nasasaktan?

Umiiyak na lang palagi,

Gusto ko nang lumisan.

Paano ba ang magmahal?

Kailangan bang nasasaktan

Lagi na lang, di maaari

Ngunit ayaw lumisan.

Heto na naman ako,

Parang hindi nadadala ang puso ko

Pero sa totoo lang, hindi naman masakit magmahal eh. It makes you feel alive! Bakit ‘pag in love ka di ba, masaya ka palagi. Pakiramdam mo kahit ano pang gawin mo hindi ka mapapagod! Daig mo pa ang Avengers sa paghahanap ng mga bato.

Ayon nga lang sya, napagod.

Napagod tanggapin ang pagmamahal na binigay mo.

Napagod na maging masaya.

Napagod na sa mga i love yous at puyat moments nyo.

Napagod ng intindihin na sobra kang magmahal.

Napagod sya, nasaktan ka.

Kaya ngayon, tinatanong mo na may background music pa ng December Avenue playlist, “PAANO NGA BA?, HOW TO UNLOVE? Ang sakit na kasi.”

Biblically speaking, God never teaches us not to love the people around us, di ba nga golden rule “Love your neighbor as you love youself”, hirap besh! Sinaktan ka na nga mamahalin mo pa rin? Iniwan ka na nga, mamahalin mo pa rin? Lord, bakit? Pwde bang ‘wag na lang?

Pwde naman eh. Pwde mo syang iwan. Pwdeng mo syang ‘wag mahalin!

Yes, you can unlove them.

Don’t take my word as literally as possible.

Here it goes,

Hindi lahat ng nagmamahal kailangan ng relasyon, kailangan ng committment, kailangan ng i love yous, kailangan ng goodmornig, goodnight, kain na.

Hindi lahat ng nagmamahal, kailangan ibroadcast sa social media. Hindi kailangan ng nagmamahal, sinasabi. Iba tahimik lang, sapat na ang tingin at ngiti kahit hindi para sa kanya.

Because they love from afar, in silence. In a distance.

In a way that you and God can only know.

Pray for them, pray for their happiness.

Pray that all the pain they gave you will soon be filled with love from the people who really matters to you. People who will love you despite of everything happened in your life.

Yes, one way or another, to unlove them is to wish them well and be happy for them, mean it!

Let’s change the perspective of what “unlove” means.

You unlove them romantically but love them as someone who made you a better person.

You unlove them not because they hurt you but because they help you love yourself more.

You unlove them because they made you realized that you deserve so much better and you won’t settle in second’s best.

You unlove them because you realize that there’s one Big Man up there whom you haven’t seen but you feel in your heart how much He loves you and what they did to you is enough to let them go.

When you unlove them, always remember that the faith you have in Him is enough to fill the empty spaces in your life.

When you pray it does not change the situation but it changes your heart, your perspective, your outcome in life. It changes you.

Huwag mo silang mahalin sa paraang alam mo, but the way God wants you to love.

Will you unlove them?

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